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    “和老公互刪微信后,感情真的變好了”:別讓你的婚姻死于無話可

    作者:5dqzone 文章來源:Q迅家園 點擊數: 更新時間:2019-06-26 19:44

     “結婚八年,我們互刪了微信”

    你聽說過,什么是“婚姻失語癥”嗎?

    有人給出的癥狀是這樣的:從交往時期的無所不談,到婚后的柴米油鹽,漸漸無話可說。

    朋友小郭,結婚八年。

    平時她一個人帶娃,和在外跑業務的丈夫分居兩地,每天除了例行公事問問天氣怎么樣、吃了沒、冷不冷,就再也無話可說了。

    后來,兩人搞了個線上的服裝店,常常通過客服號交流,在她的建議下,索性刪掉了彼此的微信。

    她告訴我說:“在朋友圈里我們都知道彼此的一切了,回家后就很難再提起聊天的欲望了。”

    沒有微信的話,她不知道丈夫每天在發什么朋友圈,也不知道他平時說什么,回家后兩個人就有了聊天的話題,話也都變多了。

    很多人看來,他們解決問題的方式有些奇葩,但他們的婚姻生活真的有了很大的改觀,擺脫了無話可說的困境。

    尼采曾這樣說過:婚姻生活猶如長期對話,當你決定走進婚姻時,你要考慮好,你們能否談笑風生的走到最后。

    無話可說,真的是每一段婚姻都必須面對的難關。

    有多少感情,毀于無話可說

    當然,并不是所有人都能像我的這位朋友一樣熬過去。

    大部分的夫妻,都是結婚越久交流越少,長久的沉默中一點一點的攢夠了失望,最后的結局就是——“死掉”!

    根據國家統計局和民政局發布的數據顯示:

    在過去的2018年,全國離婚登記人數為380.1萬對,在結婚率連續5 年下降的同時,離婚率卻連續15年上升。

    前段時間在浙江省曬出的法院統計的離婚大數據中,生活瑣碎、分居、感情基礎薄弱等都是造成離婚的主要原因:

    這些數據背后最根本的原因就是——缺乏溝通。

    當愛情度過了甜蜜浪漫的時期,走進柴米油鹽,兩個人有沒有話說,會不會溝通,就成了決定婚姻質量的直接原因。

    電影《一句頂萬句》講述了一對夫妻從“無話不說”到“無話可說”的故事。

    男主角曾經是意氣風發的軍官,女主角是小鎮中眾人愛慕的一枝花,兩個人情投意合,愛的死心塌地。

    剛結婚時,男人總是對妻子噓寒問暖,生怕她累著;女人也十分溫柔體貼,把丈夫照顧的十分周到,兩人經常談天說地,有聊不完的話題。

    后來,由于生活所迫,男人成為了一名修鞋匠,每天都在枯燥的一針一線中度過,和妻子的話越來越少。

    兩個人一起吃飯,一起睡覺,卻全程無話,婚姻生活徹底成了一潭死水。

    “也不知道啥時候,咱倆就沒話說了。”

    我們都不得不面對這樣的現實:再好的婚姻,也會死于無話可說 。

    沉默是婚姻最大的殺手,好的婚姻離不開說話。

    無論是什么關系,都需要通過好好說話才能維持,面對親人和孩子也一樣。

    余生,找一個能和你說廢話的人

    有心理學家發現:

    一個人說的話若90%以上是廢話,他就快樂。如果廢話不超過50%,則快樂感不足。

    我們每天都在找幸福,其實幸福就是找一個愿意聽你說廢話的人。

    我的父親,在外人眼中,是那種沉默寡言的人,母親卻很喜歡說話,外出的時候常常侃侃而談,父親就靜靜地站在一旁,偶爾插一句支持她。

    可回到家后,父親就像話匣子打開了一樣,和母親有說不完的話,看電視劇聊,吃飯也聊,有時候我都有些受不了。

    他們聊得并不是什么國家大事,都是一些家長里短,很多聽起來只是一些無關痛癢的廢話,兩人卻一直津津樂道。

    找一個能陪你說廢話的人,真的很重要,他可以陪你一起消磨時光,并且珍視和你在一起的每一分每一秒。

    唯一能讓婚姻長久而不失樂趣的,就是兩個人能夠說說話。就像剛結婚一樣,終于可以不再一個人,可以有人聊天有人陪伴,共同度過余生。

    人的一生很短暫,而遇到那個懂你并且愿意給你回應的人,是你最大的福氣。

    千萬別讓你的婚姻死于無話可說,如果它已經變了樣,一定要找回那些逝去的美好。


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